When you go out into the woods & you look at trees, you see all these different trees. & some of them are bent, & some of them are straight, & some of them are evergreens, & some of them are whatever.& you look at the tree and you allow it. You appreciate it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, & so it turned that way. & you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree. The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. & you are constantly saying ‘You’re too this, or I’m too this.’ That judging mind comes in. & so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.
If you are waiting for someone else to reassure you of your worth, isn’t it because you feel as if you need confirmation? Confirmation that you really are good enough. That you really are worthy. That you really are loveable. You feel as if you can finally approve of yourself once they approve of you first. You are looking for an external source of approval. But, doesn’t it make sense to get the approval straight from the one source that matters? Yourself. Love yourself. Approve of yourself. What could be more gratifying then telling yourself you approve of yourself & that you love yourself unconditionally instead of waiting for someone else to approve of you?
If you wait for an external source of love & approval, you will endlessly be searching for it, but if you find your internal source of love, you will never have to search again & no one can ever take it away from you.
Finding peace doesn’t mean that you don’t feel things like anger and fear anymore. It means acceptance. It means accepting that it’s okay to be angry and scared. It means accepting that all your feelings are valid. It means allowing yourself to feel freely. It means accepting that the world is still beautiful no matter how flawed it is, and so are you. It means understanding that it’s okay if you’re not who you want to be yet because you have the rest of your life ahead of you to grow. It means being patient, understanding and generous to everyone including yourself. It means letting go and holding on at the same time. It means many different things to different people, and that’s okay. Finding peace isn’t really about “finding” peace. It’s about searching, discovering, learning, trying, failing, succeeding and failing again, loving. It’s about simply being.